Is Comparison Really the "Thief of Joy," for Christian Business Leaders?
Ever heard the adage, especially in church or self-help forums, that we are to avoid comparing ourselves to others?
As leaders, we can often fall into the dangerous trap of using comparison as a measurement of our worthiness or value, and certainly, I have known the effects of having my self-worth tied to how I feel that I compare to others who are on a similar path.
As a kid, and even into early adulthood, I could be regarded as the classic sore loser. I could pout, scoff at, blame others, become overly emotional, or even lash out at others simply because their performance or results were better than mine. While I dismissed this charge as it only being that I was super competitive, the reality is that I was a sore loser because deep down, winning or losing had great consequences on my own sense of self-worth or value.
The Bible shares stories of the dangers of comparison in several instances, including a classic example in Genesis 28 and 29 in the story about the rivalry between Rachel and Leah. And Teddy Roosevelt’s famous quote that “Comparison is the Thief of Joy,” has become so intertwined into the church that many are surprised to find out that the quote didn’t actually come from the Bible.
A quick Google search of Bible verses dealing with comparison could, at face value, conclude that comparison itself is sinful, yet when you look at context, comparison for comparison’s sake isn’t harmful… only the potential conclusions you might draw as to the value or worthiness of yourself or others after you’ve conducted the comparison is what can become quite destructive.
The dangers of comparison are that, if left unchecked, it can lead to feelings of inferiority or superiority or that we could conclude that we are somehow better or worse than some other individual or group of people.
Comparison, at face value, however, is actually required for us to learn and grow and to make improvements. If we never made comparisons, how would we recognize what others are doing well that we can learn from? Or to learn from other people’s mistakes and the consequences that those mistakes created? With my businesses, we are often comparing ourselves to other similar businesses because it helps us identify things we can incorporate and learn from to get better.
The challenge, of course, is to ensure we don’t internalize those comparisons or find our value or lack thereof based on what those comparisons might lead us to conclude. In other words, comparison is helpful to learn, identify new ideas, determine where we can get better, etc., yet we have to be quick to draw the line at only that. What we must avoid, however, is allowing us to draw misguided assumptions from that comparison that cause us to conclude we are somehow more or less worthy or valuable based on that comparison.
When it comes to comparison, as Christians, we have often been taught that comparison, for comparison's sake, even in comparing ourselves to others, is immediately sinful. Verses like 2 Corinthians 10:12, which states “They measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise,” are often used to defend that viewpoint. The problem, though, is that in this verse, Paul isn’t bashing comparison at its root… he is bashing using those comparisons to make blanket conclusions as to merit or worthiness or to use comparison as a way to boast or to self-promote as being superior, or contrarily, inferior, to someone else in terms of worthiness.
In business and in leadership, we HAVE to make comparisons.
We have to be able to accurately draw conclusions around which people and processes are doing well, and which aren’t. If we lose a competition, it would be silly to not compare our performance to the victors, to learn what they did well or what they did, that we could adopt and incorporate. In other words, comparison is a useful tool for improvement. Our task then, is to just ensure that the comparison gives us beneficial data points, yet doesn’t lead to the slippery slope of over and under valuing who we are in the eyes of God.
We also have to ensure that using comparison doesn’t actually slow us down unnecessarily.
A famous Christian CEO once brought his 100 top salespeople into a room, unveiled the current sales rankings within the company, which inevitably caused each person to either feel elation or disappointment, depending on where they ranked, and then gave this cautionary remark to each of them, including those at the top. He said: “Here’s the truth. Each of you in this room would have better results than you currently have, if you simply spent more time focusing on your performance against your own personal potential, rather than constantly popping your head up to see what everyone else is doing, and how they are ranking. In other words, minimal comparison can be helpful for learning and growing, yet focusing too much on it will often create emotions that actually hold us back from spending all of our energy on becoming the best version of ourselves.
So then, if comparison, by itself, isn’t actually forbidden, then here are a few key things to consider on how to properly use comparison from a Godly perspective:
First, remember that comparison is a snapshot in time. We are measuring the results of one person or entity at a specific time against another person or entity at a specific time, whether that specific time is the same or different than the first. For example, imagine if you were running a marathon, and you sprinted the entire first mile. At the end of the first mile, for comparison’s sake, you might be in first place and way ahead of all of the other competitors. But that comparison is only a measurement at that very specific timepoint. It’s not an indication or prediction as to how you might compare in the future. For instance, in this example, it’s very possible that after sprinting your first mile, you lose all of your steam and your pace slows down in a way that causes you to actually cross the marathon finish line in last place. In that instance, comparison would show you’re dead last in that moment. But again, that’s a snapshot of a specific time and isn’t an indication of how you might perform in your next marathon, a year later.
Secondly, comparison isn’t always apples-to-apples and be wary of drawing too many definitive conclusions…. For example, your business may have fewer results compared to another business whose employees work 100-hour weeks, and because of this, have failing family lives, while instead, you’ve conditioned your team to work more sensible hours to properly keep work in perspective, as to its hierarchy of importance in life. Coming in second place, yet prioritizing those things that are more important, seems to be a reasonable approach and remember that God is looking at who we are as a whole, not just one individual component of our lives. In other words, we lost the specific game, yet can know that we better honored God.
Lastly, meaningful comparison must be based on easy to measure and easily accessible metrics. For instance, it’s easy to compare the two teams in a Super Bowl, as to who the victor is because we are comparing their scores at the end of the game and we have full access to exactly what those scores are.
However, it’s not always so cut and dry, and sometimes we find ourselves comparing our current actual circumstances to someone else’s PORTRAYED or even fake circumstances. We’ve all seen the social media influencers posing by fancy cars or portraying massive success or incredible wealth, and yet all of it is an illusion that is manipulated or faked, and in reality, the person is completely broke. Comparing your actual results to someone else’s manipulated or fake results isn’t helpful at all. In other words, if we don’t have all of the necessary metrics, then making any comparisons with only part of the information doesn’t add any value to our growth or improvement.
When it comes to comparison, it’s essential that we make it God-centric and not Man-centric. When comparison is used so that we can improve and become more impactful, it’s God-centric. When, however, we use comparison in a way that it either gives us a feeling of superiority or inferiority, we cross the line into man-centric, and that’s the dangerous spot that we must work to avoid.